Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
