I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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