Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
