She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
