No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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