I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
