Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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