you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
