You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
a search helicopter?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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