I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
