I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
