The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
