haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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