I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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