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i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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