Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
