Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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