I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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