all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Randomize
