It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
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