so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
