I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just want to make out with him forever
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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