Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
