I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
