I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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