Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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