Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This is my gift to your gina
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
