I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
