I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
