he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
