I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
