just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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