worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
