i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
