So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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