I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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