im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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