just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I want her autograph on my taint
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
