I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
