We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i wish my penis had a tongue
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
