You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
