I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
