he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
