she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
