she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
