Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
