i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Please don't give away my fajitas
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
