Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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