thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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