there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize
