Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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