He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
50% drunk capacity currently
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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