If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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