Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
