I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i think i just lost a toe
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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