My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm like, not good at living.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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