I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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