wrigley field is MILF paradise
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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