When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
