Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
