I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
