pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
