This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
